Let’s be 1000% honest here, we’ve ALL experienced struggles with some sort of jealousy or competition with other gals whether it was outwardly or just the thoughts that have run through our head. Girl vs. Girl culture isn’t something to disregard if it’s not impacting the relationships with girls around you. NO. If it’s impacting the relationship you have with YOURSELF, it’s time to do something about it. I’m gonna first explain what this has sometimes looked like in my own life because I have a slight suspicion you might feel me on one (or all) of these.
I’ve failed at things other girls thrive at. I’ve been rejected from things that other girls have gotten. I’ve been overlooked for positions because other people were more qualified. I’ve had troubles that other girls don’t. I’ve had lonely seasons when every other girl seemed to have a tight-knit group of friends. The list could go on & on because I’m so dang far from being “together” & I’ve faced the same ole insecurities we all do (so don’t think you’re alone for a single second).
These totally NORMAL things have made me feel jealous, frustrated, & not enough.
99% of the time, these are just things that have gone through my head rather than affected my relationships with other girls, but STILL, it’s had an impact on me & how I’ve seen myself–which is NOT something to ignore.
I’m allll about workin’ on yoself, & this is no exception. We owe it to ourselves and the girls around us to be full-on supporters, cheerleaders, & encouragers in our personal seasons of triumph & failure.
God hasn’t called you to everything. Sister, not even close. Sooooo to all the go-getters out there who seek opportunity after opportunity, getting rejections here & there is part of the deal. Don’t stop, though because it’s not a bad thing. It’s not a fail for you, it’s just a sign that you’re called to something else.
But if we wanna get over our competitive culture as women, how about we start looking at it like THIS:
That thing you didn’t get, that position that was given to someone else, that opportunity that she got over you, that *fill in the blank* that you missed out on…. It’s nothing on you. Wanna know what it is, though?!
It’s an answered prayer & step in the direction of God’s call FOR HER.
The jealousy & competitiveness we may feel isn’t because we’re evil people who hate when good things happen to other people. It’s because we want GREAT things for ourselves & it’s tough when those things pass us by.
We aren’t awful people, gal pals. We just need to focus on the overarching good (aka the good that isn’t always ours).
The whole “girl vs girl” struggle SUCKS because it holds us back from being the champions of others that we’re called to be.
I have a little story from my own life that correlates really dang well, so I’m gonna go ahead and share:
I’ve had this sweet internet friend, Caroline for a couple years. We *FINALLY* met up in-person for coffee a couple weeks ago & it was the BEST.
But let me tell you a little bit about 2 days before our meet-up!!!
Soooo… I applied for a position to join the team of a creative entrepreneur that I LOVE. I’ve been hustlin’ like a crazy woman lately to grow, take new opportunities, & work with people I align with. This seemed like the perfect scenario, & honestly, I felt pretty confident I’d get it.
Wellll, I see a notification pop up on my computer for the gal! I clicked over & saw that I didn’t get it. Initially, I did the “of course I didn’t” as all my previous life rejections went rushing through my head. But that only lasted for a second, & then I shook myself & went “woah woah woah, this just wasn’t meant to be for me, & THAT’S OKAY”.
^^ GOSH, learning this is hard.
My mini-pep talk ended & I hopped over onto the gram. I kid you not, less than 3 seconds into my gram scrolling, I see a story pop up from the gal who I’d just gotten the email from.
I click onto the story & see that she announced who she hired…
That internet friend I told ya about earlier– CAROLINE!
I was ecstatic & God shook me saying “celebrate this victory for her like it’s your own!”
So I began to. & I quickly was able to be not only happy for HER, but also thankful for the opportunities I have that are meant for ME.
Girls, it’s not the easiest thing to TRULY be 10000% happy for people who “beat us” in whatever we do, but can we try to start doing a little bit better each day? The gals around us deserve it. We deserve it.
On a similar note, I hope you know how loud & proud I’m cheering for you today.